Tiger Woods Wondering If He Should Tell People He's Still Getting Laid

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Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods, Lindsey Vonn Blame Breakup On Hectic Sex Lives

JUPITER ISLAND, FL—Explaining that the pressures of their day-to-day commitments had given them no other choice but to end their three-year relationship, golf star Tiger Woods and Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn released a joint statement Wednesday blaming their breakup on their hectic sex lives.

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PONTE VEDRA BEACH, FL—In an announcement highly anticipated by sex fans around the world, Tiger Woods told a small gathering of reporters, family, and lovers Friday that the most dominant fornicator on the planet would soon return to sex.

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Tiger Woods

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Tiger Woods Putts Baby Into Diaper

ORLANDO, FL—Tiger Woods added yet another accomplishment to his already outstanding résumé Sunday when the 13-time major winner successfully putted his baby daughter, five-month-old Sam Alexis Woods, into a fresh Huggies...

Tiger Woods Reveals He Is Zach Johnson

AUGUSTA, GA—World No. 1-ranked golfer Tiger Woods, after appearing to struggle through the weekend—playing with uncharacteristic inconsistency, bogeying twice in the final rounds, and breaking clubs—shocked the crowd at Augusta...

Nike's $100 Million Man

Tiger Woods recently signed a fiv-year, $100 million contract with Nike. What are the conditions of Wood's contract?
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Tiger Woods Wondering If He Should Tell People He's Still Getting Laid

WINDERMERE, FL—Tiger Woods reportedly spent several hours in deep contemplation Saturday, pondering whether he should inform friends, family, and reporters that he's still getting laid on a regular basis. "I suppose it's important to be open and honest about what's happening in my life, and it's not like I'm married anymore, so there's really nothing wrong with it," Woods said as he attempted to remember the number of sexual partners he's had over the past month. "On the other hand, people might get upset if they knew I was having sex three times a week with random women I meet at bars. I've only fucked a few ladies in the stall of the men's restroom and one on top of the sink, though. So that's not too bad." After deep consideration, Woods reportedly decided that it would be best not to reveal any sexual escapades that involved fisting, anal penetration, or urophilia.

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