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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Tim Duncan Announces Shoe Deal With Florsheim

SAN ANTONIO—Spurs center Tim Duncan held a press conference Monday to unveil the newest style in the Florsheim catalog, called simply "the Duncan." "We really tried to capture the classic styling of the Tilden, paired with the ease and comfort of the Denison—or the Lexington, if you're a wing-tip man," said Duncan, adding that because he helped design the shoe himself, he made certain it would appeal to a basketball player in his mid-30s seeking respectability and comfort, or a man in his mid-80s seeking the same. "We wanted to avoid the classic athlete cliché of going overly flashy with something like a bike toe or cap toe, so we kept it simple; kept it stylish. Those are the principles Milton Florsheim founded this company on in the first place." The press conference concluded with a private screening of Florsheim's new commercial, which features the All-Star center sitting in an empty Spurs locker room reading an e-book, at which point the camera pans to his shoes and the slogan "Style. Comfort. Duncan." appears.

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