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Teacher Who Learns More From Her Students Than She Teaches Them Fired

Explaining that her statements indicated a failure to understand and implement the district’s goal of providing a comprehensive education to all children, Southwest High School officials reportedly fired ninth-grade history teacher Jennifer Steenman today after she was heard saying she learns more from her students than they do from her. Full article.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Tim Duncan Announces Shoe Deal With Florsheim

SAN ANTONIO—Spurs center Tim Duncan held a press conference Monday to unveil the newest style in the Florsheim catalog, called simply "the Duncan." "We really tried to capture the classic styling of the Tilden, paired with the ease and comfort of the Denison—or the Lexington, if you're a wing-tip man," said Duncan, adding that because he helped design the shoe himself, he made certain it would appeal to a basketball player in his mid-30s seeking respectability and comfort, or a man in his mid-80s seeking the same. "We wanted to avoid the classic athlete cliché of going overly flashy with something like a bike toe or cap toe, so we kept it simple; kept it stylish. Those are the principles Milton Florsheim founded this company on in the first place." The press conference concluded with a private screening of Florsheim's new commercial, which features the All-Star center sitting in an empty Spurs locker room reading an e-book, at which point the camera pans to his shoes and the slogan "Style. Comfort. Duncan." appears.

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