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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Tim Duncan Argues Theory Of Infinite Divisibility Prevents Any Team From Winning Championship

MIAMI—Applying an analytical framework dating back to 360 BC, Spurs power forward Tim Duncan used the concept of infinite divisibility Thursday to argue that, in theory, no team could win the NBA championship. “Given that an initial field of nonzero size is halved by each round of playoffs, it follows that one may make an arbitrarily large number of such divisions, each time yielding another field of nonzero size,” said Duncan, diagramming his arguments in marker on a dry-erase board for his teammates. “Imagine, if you will, a basketball approaching a backboard from 8 feet, then 4 feet, then 2 feet, and so on. Now ask: When is the ball halfway there? This is my point: that the ball is always halfway there, and continues to be so. I know this is all very abstract, but you understand what I’m saying. The NBA playoffs behave asymptotically, approaching a zero limit but never reaching it.” Duncan then asserted that, assuming the dimension of time is similarly divisible, tonight’s Game 1 tip-off would never occur.

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