adBlockCheck

Tim Duncan Begins Summer Job At Apple Genius Bar

Top Headlines

Sports

Extreme Storms To Rip Through Godforsaken Midwestern Wasteland

The Onion Weather Center focuses on the Midwest, where a storm system should recede into the distance like any hope of a stable economic future; a tornado bears down on a podunk, backwater hick town; and field reporter Matt Jennings is live from God knows where.

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Tim Duncan Begins Summer Job At Apple Genius Bar

SAN ANTONIO—Spurs center Tim Duncan returned to his summer job at the Apple Store Genius Bar Monday, where he provided technical support during his eight-hour shift by diagnosing problems, troubleshooting software issues, and repairing people's computers, iPhones, and iPods. "I can't stress to our customers enough that they really need to make multiple backups of their data," said Duncan, who has worked at the San Pedro Avenue location for the past three summers. "A lot of times we can retrieve files from a crashed hard drive, but you shouldn't rely on that. Also, you can increase the battery life of your laptop if you shut it down when you're transporting it from one place to another." Duncan has also offered to take a shift for fellow Apple Genius David Atwood on Saturday, saying it would be a shame for his coworker to miss Game 3 of the Nuggets-Mavericks Western Conference Semifinals.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close