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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Tim Duncan Scrubs In To Perform Teammate's Arthroscopic Knee Surgery

SAN ANTONIO, TX—As 21-year-old small forward Kawhi Leonard was prepped and placed under general anesthesia Friday, Spurs center Tim Duncan scrubbed up and entered the operating room in University Hospital to perform his teammate's arthroscopic meniscectomy. "With this type of injury, it's best to clear out this scar tissue around the tibia before repairing the tear here on the lateral meniscus," the 13-time NBA All-Star said while pointing to an MRI scan of Leonard's left knee. "Basketball is Kawhi's life, so it's nice to be able to help him get back on the court. Nurse, I'm going to need a C-mount arthroscope and a biting clamp, please." After carefully suturing the last incision, Duncan washed up and began outlining a regimented physical therapy program that would have Leonard playing again by November.

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