adBlockCheck

Sports

Man Born With Face You Just Want To Punch

In case you missed last night's premiere of the second season of "Onion News Network", watch Jean Anne Whorton's touching portrait of a man who was born with a god-awful, hateful face.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
End Of Section
  • More News

Tim Duncan Sends Out 3-Month Warning To Inform Spurs Of Upcoming Season Opener

SAN ANTONIO—Spurs center Tim Duncan sent an e-mail with the subject heading "REMINDER! OPENING TIP-OFF COMING!!!" to all of his teammates Tuesday, urging them to keep Wednesday, Oct. 27, completely free because that is the night they play the Indiana Pacers in the 2010-2011 NBA season opener. "Please do not plan anything that entire day, as there will be a pregame meal, a mandatory pregame shoot around, warm-ups, and the game against the Indiana Pacers. Afterwards, plan on Coach Gregg Popovich addressing us in the team locker room for five to 10 minutes," Duncan's e-mail reads before going on to mention that he would be at the arena extra early to help with parking or anything else that might come up. "Remember, the game is at home at the AT&T Center. If you like, I can send you directions to the game based on the addresses I currently have on file. Please, if anything has changed, notify me." Explaining that he didn't want a repeat of last year's scheduling snafu, Duncan concluded the message by reminding his teammates that the Spurs haven't played in the Alamodome since 2002.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close