Tim Duncan Sends Teammates Google+ Invitations For Fifth Consecutive Day

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Vol 47 Issue 29

Nation's School Systems Held Back A Year

WASHINGTON—Having continued to display learning deficits and a failure to reach basic educational milestones, the nation's school systems will be asked to repeat the academic year, sources confirmed Friday.
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Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Tim Duncan Sends Teammates Google+ Invitations For Fifth Consecutive Day

SAN ANTONIO—For nearly a week, Spurs center Tim Duncan has reportedly emailed his teammates invitations to join him on Google’s new social networking site, Google+. “Please join soon, as I’ve already begun sharing game plans and upcoming events via Google+’s Circles feature,” Duncan wrote in an email Tuesday, adding that team chemistry “may suffer” if people don’t have access to each other’s +1’s. “I’ve pinned the San Antonio Spurs under my Sparks, and you should too as soon as you’ve set up your profiles. And, also, guys, please switch out your old Comcast and Earthlink email accounts for new GMail ones so we can communicate easier via Google Groups.” As of press time, no Spurs player has entered Duncan’s current Google+ Hangout.

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