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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Tim Duncan Spends Free Time Trying To Get Wrongfully Incarcerated Man Off Death Row

MANSFIELD, OH—Spurs center Tim Duncan spent all his free time this week studying law books and building a case in an attempt to exonerate a death row inmate wrongfully incarcerated at Ohio's Mansfield Correctional Institution. "For more than 10 years, Randolph Morgan has been imprisoned for a crime he did not commit, mainly because of the testimony of an unreliable witness, one Cheryl McInerney," said Duncan, who has devoted the past three offseasons to earning a law degree at San Antonio State and in August passed the bar exam in both Texas and Ohio. "I have met with medical examiners and several forensic pathologists, and they concur that the available DNA evidence is more than sufficient to prove the innocence of my client." Duncan went on to score 14 points against the Los Angeles Clippers Monday night before flying to Ohio to persuade the governor to issue a stay of execution for Morgan.

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