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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Tim Duncan Staring At Wall Right Now

SAN ANTONIO—Two-time NBA MVP Tim Duncan has been sitting in his living room next to his packed gym bag and clad in his Spurs warm-up jersey for the past three months, concerned teammates reported Monday. "I called him several times and he didn't pick up," said guard Tony Parker. "And when I got worried enough to go look through his window, I saw him just sitting there. I'm pretty sure he's conscious and not in any pain, but it doesn't look like he's moved since late June." The Spurs front office confirmed that Duncan requested a call at midnight on Oct. 1 to ensure he did not miss the first day of training camp.

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