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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Tim Duncan Urges Teammates To Be Patient With Frequent-Flyer Miles

‘It’s Best To Build Them Up For One Big Trip,’ All-Star Says

SAN ANTONIO—Conversing with teammates during practice Friday, Spurs center Tim Duncan urged San Antonio’s players to be smarter with their frequent-flyer miles by accumulating the reward points for one big trip rather than squandering them little by little. “I can’t stress enough how important it is to practice restraint and never cash your miles for a domestic flight, even if it’s for a vacation,” Duncan was overheard telling guard Kawhi Leonard, at one point bringing the 22-year-old over to a whiteboard to explain how it was more prudent to save the frequent-flyer miles for a trip to an international destination. “Just remember to keep your composure and wait. You never know when an emergency might pop up and you’ll desperately need the miles. I also want to emphasize that if you’re not all using credit cards with miles bonuses, you’re missing out on an excellent opportunity.” At press time, several Spurs reported receiving emails notifying them that they had been shared on a Google doc titled “Tim’s Travel Tips” and a spreadsheet named “Budgeting Your FF Miles.”

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