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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Tim Tebow Absolutely Horrified After First Phone Conversation With Rex Ryan

NEW YORK—Confusion, disgust, and terror were among the emotions new Jets quarterback Tim Tebow reported feeling after a 20-minute phone call with New York coach Rex Ryan. "Coach Ryan is a very…expressive person. Really descriptive. He can be a little vulgar, though," the visibly distraught Tebow told reporters while attempting to hold a glass of ice water steady enough to drink from it. "He told me what he wants the Jets to do next year. Then he told me I'd like New York, and why. Then he told me about, about the 'fun' we are all going to have together. That was most of the call. I have to go now. I have to call my parents. I have to be alone for a while." Coach Ryan said he enjoyed talking with Tebow, whom he described as "a nice, quiet kid with a good head for football who gasps a lot when you talk about poontang."

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