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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Tim Tebow’s Former Teammate Charged With Murder

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Adding yet another wrinkle to the football player and media sensation’s eventful offseason, authorities confirmed today that a former teammate of New England Patriots quarterback Tim Tebow has been arrested and charged with murder. “While this is a highly sensitive matter, I can confirm that [Tebow’s former teammate] has indeed been taken into custody,” said Massachusetts State Police Superintendent Timothy P. Alben, referring to the individual who reportedly knows Tim Tebow, has talked to Tim Tebow, and has spent time in the same locker room as Tebow following the deeply religious quarterback’s release from the New York Jets earlier this year. “As our probe is ongoing, we will have no official comment on [the man who played football with former University of Florida standout Tim Tebow, who continues his rollercoaster journey through the National Football league this year—a journey beset with NFL experts and fans constantly asking this question: Is Tim Tebow an NFL quarterback? And if not, is he capable of playing another position? And if not, does he belong in the league at all?]’s role in the investigation at this time.” When questioned by reporters, Alben was unable to provide an answer on how Tebow’s physical style of play and experience running the wildcat package would mesh with Patriots head coach Bill Belichick’s longstanding emphasis on the passing game.

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