Timberwolves Beat Writer Running Out Of Ways To Say 'Defeated By'

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Vol 44 Issue 07

Australia Apologizes To Aborigines

Australian prime minister Kevin Rudd delivered a speech in Parliament in which he apologized to the country’s indigenous people for past wrongs....
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Timberwolves Beat Writer Running Out Of Ways To Say 'Defeated By'

MINNEAPOLIS—Rob Brittson, a Twin Cities sportswriter assigned to the Timberwolves beat, has had his stock of defeat-oriented phrases almost exhausted by Minnesota recording the NBA's second-worst record, Brittson told his fellow reporters Wednesday. "Well, Nets 92, T-Wolves 88—there goes 'Hunted To Extinction,'" said Brittson, crossing the phrase off a list that once included "Roadkill," "Defanged," "Wolf's Bane," and even "Pelted!" before the dismal season began to take its toll. "Pretty soon I'll be resorting to timber metaphors, like maybe 'Timberrr!' or 'Logging Out' or maybe even 'A Clear-Cut Loss.' Wait, no, that's horrible. Isn't it?" Brittson claims that loyalty will prevent him from turning the focus of his headlines to Timberwolves' opponents in weeks to come, even if Philadelphia deep-76es them, Utah slaps them down with the jazz hands, and Cleveland dismisses them in a cavalier fashion.
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