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A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.
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Time Magazine Just Six Months From Big Cocktail-Nation-Craze Story

NEW YORK—Zeitgeist-monitoring sources reported Monday that Time magazine is a mere six months from a major cover story on the pop-cultural phenomenon known as "Cocktail Nation"—the retro-lounge revival of the early-'60s swinging bachelor-pad lifestyle that rose to popularity in the early '90s. "It is important that Time keep its readers abreast of cutting-edge developments such as Cocktail Nation," said Time editor-in-chief Ted Schildkraut. "We were also the first to bring readers the ultra-hip 'Riot-Grrrrl' movement of late '80s, which we featured in a big, timely, December 1996 piece." Other popular-trend stories that Time plans to run in the future: "Cigar Chic," in May 1999; "Everybody's Moving To Seattle," in 2001; and "Rap: The Beat Of The Street," in late 2006.

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