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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Timeless Masterpiece Liked

SANTA CLARA, CA—City Lights, the eternal Charlie Chaplin classic heralded by film scholars as a poignant and seminal work of 20th-century comic realism, was reportedly enjoyed by 24-year-old web designer Ross Strickland Tuesday. "Nice," Strickland said as the credits rolled on Chaplin's magnum opus, a masterpiece of American cinema that was decades ahead of its time and whose themes of civic duty, compassion for the disabled, and honesty in business are just as relevant now as they were in 1931. "I liked it." Strickland later added that he found the silent feature's groundbreaking ending, which was meticulously choreographed by Chaplin in one of the greatest achievements of the filmmaker's 75-year career, "good."

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