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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Tiny Ben Carson Tugs At Debate Moderator’s Pant Leg

‘Hey! Down Here!’ Candidate Says

HOUSTON—In an effort to get the attention of the event’s moderator, a tiny Ben Carson reportedly waved his little arms and tugged at CNN political anchor Wolf Blitzer’s pant leg during Thursday night’s GOP debate. “Hey, look down here! It’s me, Ben Carson,” said the 6-inch-tall presidential candidate, bending over at the waist to catch his breath after frantically jumping up and down and pulling with all of his heart on the fabric around Blitzer’s ankle. “Wolf! Wolf! Down here! Come on, ask me a question too.” At press time, sources confirmed the squeaky, muffled voice of tiny Ben Carson could be heard mumbling about defunding Planned Parenthood from inside Blitzer’s coat pocket.

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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

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