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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Tired Twins Ask If They Can Stop Swinging Bat All The Way Around

MINNEAPOLIS—Exhausted from months of trying, to little avail, to hit the ball, the last-place Minnesota Twins gathered around manager Ron Gardenhire in the clubhouse Friday afternoon to ask if they could be allowed to stop swinging their bats all the way around. "We can just do the one where you hold your bat out there halfway with both hands and see if the ball hits it," suggested second baseman Alexi Casilla, who lately has been swinging all the way through a full 360 degrees but has yet to hit a home run this season. "Or we can just go up there and do nothing. Sometimes they let you go to first base if you just stand there for a while as the balls go by. That sounds like a good strategy to me." The Twins also asked if they could discontinue running toward batted balls to field them, saying that if everyone just waits around long enough with their gloves out, eventually the ball is bound to fall into one of them.

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