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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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T.J. Houshmandzadeh Enjoys Ordering "The Houshmandzadeh" Just To See What Waiter Brings

CINCINNATI—Sitting at an Italian eatery with a plate full of Houshmandzadeh (ravioli verde stuffed with prosciutto and mushroom and topped with a light Alfredo sauce), Bengals wide receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh told reporters Wednesday that he often orders his last name at different restaurants to see what dish the waiter brings to his table. "I love the Houshmandzadeh at sushi places, because fried conger eel and nori seaweed really hits the spot," said Houshmandzadeh, who later recommended diners try the Houshmandzadeh at Lebanese restaurants, but with baba ghanoush instead of hummus. "I will say the only time I ever regretted ordering it was at a Mexican place, as the prawns were spicier than I thought they would be." At press time, Houshmandzadeh was at a Cincinnati Dairy Queen eating a butterscotch Blizzard with Kit Kat bars mixed in.

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