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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.
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T.J. Maxx Job Application Just Asks Prospective Employees How Much They Plan To Shoplift

FRAMINGHAM, MA—In a move meant to streamline the company’s hiring process, representatives from T.J. Maxx confirmed Monday that the retailer’s job application now simply asks prospective employees how much merchandise they plan to shoplift. “While reviewing our employment procedures, we realized the only things we want to see on paper are the candidate’s name, phone number, and a realistic estimate of how much apparel he or she expects to steal during his or her time as an employee,” said human resources manager Madeline Irvington, noting that the removal of extraneous information from the form, such as an applicant’s education and past experience, saves T.J. Maxx store managers considerable time in making hiring decisions. “For inventory purposes, we just want our job candidates to come right out and tell us from the very beginning exactly how many designer tops, handbags, and pairs of jeans they intend to remove the security tags from after the store has closed and then surreptitiously ferry out when they leave. That way, we can be sure to order the correct amount of merchandise to satisfy them, any friends they plan to shoplift for, and our customers.” Irvington added that all job candidates who made it past the first round would then be asked how long they planned to lay low with the items before reselling them online.

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