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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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TNA Sources: Pacman Jones Kept Asking Where Doink The Clown Is

NASHVILLE—According to sources from Total Nonstop Action, the pro-wrestling league in which Adam "Pacman" Jones fought for the past two months, the suspended NFL star would not stop inquiring as to the whereabouts of such wrestlers as Doink The Clown, Bam Bam Bigelow, the Steiner Brothers, Big Boss Man, Marty Jannetty, and Lord Steven Regal. "Although he was enthusiastic, Mr. Jones continually asked if Typhoon and Earthquake were around, if he could be the first one to beat someone called 'Goldberg,' when Y2J is going to happen, if he could come out in the coveted 30th slot in the Royal Rumble, and when he can do a Diamond Cutter on someone," said TNA president Dixie Carter, whom Jones alternately referred to as "Bischoff," "McMahon," and "The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiasi." "We ultimately had to terminate his contract when, during his scheduled match, we found him up in the rafters looking for Sting, hoping to ask him if he was going to join the white and black or the Wolfpack." Though Jones is no longer a part of TNA wrestling, Carter confirmed that he receives four to six calls from Jones each day, demanding a private meeting with Mankind, Dude Love, Cactus Jack, and Mick Foley to address some "suspicions" he has.

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