Todd Akin Spends Whole Night Wondering What Went Wrong

In This Section

Vol 48 Issue 45

Anorexic Woman At Gym Looking Good

CHICAGO—Citing her shapeless physique, protruding skeleton, and jaundiced complexion, gym members exercising at a local Equinox Fitness Club on Friday confirmed that the anorexic woman working out on the first floor is looking good. “Oh, man, ...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Internet

Originality

Todd Akin Spends Whole Night Wondering What Went Wrong

ST. LOUIS—Following a disappointing loss in his state’s U.S. Senate race to incumbent Claire McCaskill, Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) told reporters Wednesday that he spent all of last night racking his brain and trying to figure out what had gone wrong with his campaign. “I don’t know what happened. I was polling really well until late August, but then it all just kind of unraveled,” said Akin, adding that he was “still piecing together” the causes of his collapse. “I just keep replaying those weeks and months over and over in my head, searching for something, anything, that I could have said or done differently, and absolutely nothing comes to mind. Maybe it was my views on tax reform that did me in. I don’t know.” Akin then reportedly called his friend, fellow defeated Senate candidate Richard Mourdock, to offer his condolences and remark on “what a crazy, random world we live in.”

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More