adBlockCheck

Adventure

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

Study Finds Dangers Even In Casual Bullfighting

BETHESDA, MD—Challenging conventional wisdom about the activity’s hazards, a groundbreaking new study by the National Institutes of Health published Thursday has determined there are significant dangers even in casual bullfighting.
End Of Section
  • More News

Adventure

Toddler Junkie Immediately Hooked On Looking At Trains After First Exhilarating High

HARRISBURG, PA—After experiencing the intoxicating, extreme high of watching a 56-car freight train pass before his eyes last week, 3-year-old junkie Logan Gunter reportedly became instantly hooked on looking at rail transport, demanding to be taken to railroad crossings at all times of day in an effort to achieve the same exhilarating euphoria. “I’ve got to look at a train right now. Just a quick look. I need it—I need it real bad,” said the wild-eyed little addict, who family members confirmed has become consumed by intense, around-the-clock cravings to view big locomotives either chugging along railways or sitting motionless at stations, and who often experiences severe, violent fits when he goes without seeing a train for more than a few hours. “Just give me a little train, that’s it. Two cars, I’ll take two cars. Or just one caboose, okay? Come on, you’ve gotta help me out here.” At press time, the shivering toddler junkie was trying to wean himself off of trains by looking at a big red tractor but admitted to reporters that “it’s not as good as a real fix.”

Adventure

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close