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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Tom Brady Autobiography Highlights The Highs And Highs Of Being Tom Brady

FOXBOROUGH, MA—A new autobiography by New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady gives readers a behind-the-scenes look at the ups and even greater ups of being the three-time Super Bowl champion, sources confirmed Friday. "From the highest highs of winning two NFL MVP awards and marrying a Brazilian supermodel, to the more moderate highs of being a record-setting quarterback for the University of Michigan, this memoir is very personal and doesn't hold back," said Bryce Joplin, a representative from the book's publisher, Hyperion, adding that Tom Brady: A Life Of Joy And Painlessness goes on sale Tuesday. "On the one hand, readers will see the side of Tom they already know from the football field—a good-looking millionaire who is constantly winning—but on the other, they'll finally learn who Tom is off the field: a constant winner who is also a good-looking millionaire." Brady was not available for comment, as he was eating filet mignon at the best steakhouse in Boston while waiting for a call concerning a $20 million endorsement deal with Rolex.

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