Tom Brady

Female Fans Out For Season With Tom Brady's Knee Injury

FOXBOROUGH, MA—More than 90 percent of female football fans were lost for the sesaon on Sunday when New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady suffered a left knee injury that will require extensive treatment. The Partriots announced Monday...

Tom Brady

Onion Sports takes a long, loving look at the man who may be the most beautiful NFL MVP of all time.
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Tom Brady: 'I'd Have Booed Us Too, But Patriots Fans Are Still Ungrateful Front-Running Shitheads'

FOXBOROUGH, MA—Following a 33-14 drubbing at the hands of the Baltimore Ravens, Patriots quarterback Tom Brady admitted that his team deserved to be booed, but said that "to suffer jeers from shortsighted brainless front-runners like Patriots fans was both laughable and pathetic." "The Ravens outplayed us here today, but I'm sorry, fuck all of you," Brady said to the Patriots' fan base, noting that the concept of a true Patriots fan was "barely even existent." "There's no doubt we could have executed better, just like there's no doubt those 68,756 slavering fair-weather pieces of shit in the stands have less right than anyone else to point that out. And if they have a problem with that, they should feel absolutely free to go fuck themselves." Brady added that, next to Pats fans, the Boston fans cheering for the Celtics' gang of johnny-come-lately mercenaries were the saddest fucking thing he'd ever seen.

Tom Brady

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