Tom Glavine: 'I'm Never Gonna Get My 300th Win, Am I?'

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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

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Tom Glavine: 'I'm Never Gonna Get My 300th Win, Am I?'

NEW YORK—Following a no-decision after two consecutive losses—a three-game span in which the Mets scored a combined three runs—Tom Glavine (5-3) shook his head while repeatedly mumbling "It's never gonna happen" at a post-game press conference Tuesday. "Five 20-win seasons and two stupid Cy Young awards, so what? It means nothing... I have nothing," said a visibly dejected Glavine to a crowd that included his wife, daughter, and stepson. "I should have retired when I had the chance, but now I'll just end my career as a loser. God, I am such a loser." Mets pitcher Pedro Martinez tried to cheer up Glavine with by telling him that at least his career hasn't been marred by injuries, to which Glavine responded, "Shut up."

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