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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Tom Glavine Uses Pitching Metaphors To Explain Hitting

PORT ST. LUCIE, FL—All-Star slugger and batting instructor David Wright failed to show up to a youth baseball clinic last Monday, forcing New York Mets pitcher Tom Glavine to use pitching metaphors while teaching hitting to the youngsters. "When you're in there toeing the rubber, a lot of times you'll want to give it the gas, but sometimes it's best to change it up," Glavine said while demonstrating a bunt down the third-base line. "But no matter what, approach every start like it's your last. Imagine it's the bottom of the ninth, 3-2 count, and you've got to get a strikeout if you want to win." Meanwhile, Wright, who was reportedly at another location wondering where Glavine was, told the pitchers at his clinic that their success will ultimately hinge on their ability to deliver hard line drives unless they are truly confident enough in their "stuff" to locate soft bloopers.

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