adBlockCheck

Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Study: Anxiety Resolved By Thinking About It Real Hard

Potentially offering hope to millions of Americans struggling with psychological and emotional problems, a study published this week in The New England Journal Of Medicine found that test subjects were capable of fully resolving their anxiety by thinking ...

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
End Of Section
  • More News

Tom Glavine Uses Pitching Metaphors To Explain Hitting

PORT ST. LUCIE, FL—All-Star slugger and batting instructor David Wright failed to show up to a youth baseball clinic last Monday, forcing New York Mets pitcher Tom Glavine to use pitching metaphors while teaching hitting to the youngsters. "When you're in there toeing the rubber, a lot of times you'll want to give it the gas, but sometimes it's best to change it up," Glavine said while demonstrating a bunt down the third-base line. "But no matter what, approach every start like it's your last. Imagine it's the bottom of the ninth, 3-2 count, and you've got to get a strikeout if you want to win." Meanwhile, Wright, who was reportedly at another location wondering where Glavine was, told the pitchers at his clinic that their success will ultimately hinge on their ability to deliver hard line drives unless they are truly confident enough in their "stuff" to locate soft bloopers.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close