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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Universe Crueler, More Uncaring Place Than Previously Thought

The universe, long known as a bleak and unforgiving place where essentially nothing matters, is in fact even crueler and more heartless than previously thought, according to a startling report published Tuesday by scientists at the Institute for Advanced ...

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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Tonight In The Dome: Coverage Of The 2011 Owners Combine, Gary Payton Returns, And A NASCAR Driver Caught Racing With A Prostitute In His Car

Major League Baseball is headed to Florida and Arizona for spring training, and the SportsDome is serving up an Early Bird Special at its NEW TIME of 8/7c.  Alex Reiser and Mark Shepard are grilling up some analysis and restocking the salad bar with fresh-picked sports.  Get in line and grab a chilled plate, because this Dome is All You Can Eat.

Tune in to Onion SportsDome TUESDAY NIGHT at its NEW TIME at 8/7c on Comedy Central.

The latest baseball news isn't the only thing buzzing in the Dome tonight:

- All the legal fallout from the Daytona 500, where driver Taft Myers was pulled over mid-race Sunday and found with a prostitute in his car.

- The richest white men in the country are gathering in Indianapolis for the NFL Owners Combine.

- The NBA Hardwood boys are back for some post-All Star Game analysis, with former NBA superstar Gary Payton and the soul of basketball inventor Dr. James Naismith trapped in a turn-of-the-century music box.

The SportsDome's not waiting around.  Dome early and Dome often Tuesday night at 8.

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