adBlockCheck

Tonight In The Dome: Latest From The NFL Labor Talks and Tim Duncan's Claim That He Has Had Over 10,00 Platonic Relationships With Women

Top Headlines

Sports

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Tonight In The Dome: Latest From The NFL Labor Talks and Tim Duncan's Claim That He Has Had Over 10,00 Platonic Relationships With Women

Spring training, the NFL labor crisis and March Madness are fighting it out in the trenches, and only the Dome has the heavy-duty Sports-Treads you need to blast through enemy lines and make the world safe for sports again. Alex Reiser and Mark Shepard lead the way as the SportsDome rips up the countryside and takes back the Rhineland in the name of sports purity.

Tune into SportsDome on Tuesday night at 8/7c on Comedy Central.

The Dome is scraping Sports off its grill, including:

- An NFL labor negotiations update, with players and owners reaching an agreement to screw over fans, and Commissioner Roger Goodell offering to play a few downs at QB if that would help.

- Widely reviled White Sox catcher AJ Pierzynski in the hospital after several attempted murders, and police are combing through the tens of thousands of suspects who might have had a grudge against him.

- Tim Duncan's new autobiography reveals the Spurs star has had supportive, platonic friendships with 10,000 women in the course of his career.

Everyone loves sports in a foxhole, and you're staring down the barrel of the SportsDome.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close