Sports news is breaking fast and breaking hard in the Onion SportsDome. Champion thoroughbred Rocky Top broke his leg running the Stapleton Derby, and vets have rushed to the horse's side in an attempt to masturbate him before he dies, so his valuable sperm can still be sold to other breeders and he will not be a total loss to the horse's owners.
Tune in to Onion SportsDome TONIGHT 10:30/9:30c on Comedy Central.
It's not just dying horses in the Dome. Mark Shepard and Alex Reiser are all keyed up for another outstanding Dome, including:
- Al Davis on a hiring spree, announcing the next three head coaches who will patrol the Oakland sidelines before being dismissed by Davis without cause.
- The New York Knicks making some big moves at the NBA Kidnapping deadline. Full analysis with the Dome's NBA crew.
- And an everlasting tribute to the power of sports, with the debut of OSN's new OSN Anthem.
The Dome knows only Sports. Get to know it.