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Tonight In The Dome: Shaq To Be Traded And Broken Down For Parts, The Last Word On Super Bowl XLV, And More

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Tonight In The Dome: Shaq To Be Traded And Broken Down For Parts, The Last Word On Super Bowl XLV, And More

If your hair and teeth are falling out and your skin is covered with seeping blisters, you're still dealing with the Super Bowl fallout. The Green Bay Packers are Super Bowl XLV champs, and Mark Shepard and Alex Reiser are setting up a pigskin triage in the SportsDome with all the latest deets on Green Bay's win, the Steelers' bumbling giveaways and reaction from millions of men who look exactly like Mike McCarthy.

Tune in to Onion SportsDome TUESDAY 10:30/9:30c on Comedy Central.

It's not just Super Bowl. Here's the rest of what we're working on:

  • Shaquille O'Neal dealt to the Mavericks, who will dissect the big man and distribute his muscles and organs to their starting five.
  • The Baltimore Orioles are looking to bridge the revenue gap in the AL East by turning Camden Yards into a fully-functioning slaughterhouse.
  • Highlights of one man's epic battle against life.

All that and a Sports-Bird stuffed with Super Bowl analysis in the SportsDome.

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