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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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Tonight's DNC Program To Be Just 3 Hours Of Osama Bin Laden's Blown-Off Face Projected Onto Screen

CHARLOTTE, NC—According to high-level campaign sources, the second night of the Democratic National Convention will consist solely of three straight hours of the late al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden’s bloody, bullet-mauled face being projected on every screen and monitor in the Time Warner Cable Arena. “From 8 to 11 p.m., we’re going to dim the house lights and show bin Laden’s blown-off face, bloodstained cranial fragments, and exploded brain matter from every conceivable angle—everything from ultra close-ups of his gaping forehead wound to wider shots showing the immense pool of blood pouring from his shattered skull,” said Obama campaign press secretary Ben LaBolt, noting that for the 10 p.m. network television broadcast hour, a massive 60-foot screen in the center of the stadium would be lowered to display a continuous loop of never-before-seen high-definition footage of the terrorist mastermind’s face being ripped apart by bullets. “We can’t think of a better way to finally release these photographs. The slow-zoom portion of the program where the camera essentially goes into bin Laden’s empty eye socket and you can see all the dangling cerebral tissue and nerve endings should be very powerful. It’s going to be a fantastic night!” LaBolt said the images of bin Laden would be introduced by his fourth wife, Siham Saber.

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