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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Tony Dungy On Meeting With Rex Ryan: 'That Fucking Cocksucker Is A Good Shit'

NEW YORK—After briefly speaking with Jets coach Rex Ryan about his excessive use of expletives during the HBO show Hard Knocks, NBC football analyst Tony Dungy admitted Monday that "the fat cocksucker is real fucking good shit." "We were yapping our dicks off on the fucking telephone… I had a goddamned great conversation with that lovable fucking asshole," said Dungy, adding that he and the "huge ass-muncher" hit it off right away. "That cock-gobbling bastard understood that none of this shit is fucking personal. We had an asshole-to-asshole talk and now me and the big twat are tight as fuck." Dungy said he had apologized to "Lard Dick" for being "such a little bitch" about the goddamn swearing and accepted Ryan's offer to tour the Jets' asshole.

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