adBlockCheck

Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
End Of Section
  • More News

Tony Kornheiser Not About To Let Football Game Interrupt Tennis Anecdote

PITTSBURGH—Despite the hard-fought defensive struggle between the Steelers and the Ravens playing out before him, ESPN commentator Tony Kornheiser was able to complete a rant decrying guttural noises in women's tennis Monday night without acknowledging the football game in any way. "I was watching it, and I could hear for myself: Maria Sharapova literally grunted on a drop shot," Kornheiser said while the Steelers scored on a 38-yard TD pass to Santonio Holmes and recovered a Joe Flacco fumble for another score, all in a 15-second span of game time. Kornheiser also effectively cut off Ron Jaworski's detailed description of the breakdown in the Ravens' pass protection, saying, "It's a drop shot, you know? Why do you need to do that? I can make a drop shot without grunting, for God's sake. The other day I came to the net, no grunt. Then the ball came back whizzing past my head at about a hundred miles an hour. But ya know, she plays tennis, I play tennis. Tennis is tennis. Is grunting tennis? It is not." Though Jeff Reed's game-winning kick in overtime was unable to capture Kornheiser's attention sufficiently enough to penetrate the anecdote, a shot of a mildly overweight fan celebrating in the stands did prompt Kornheiser to conjecture that the fan "heard lunch was a buffet."

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings