adBlockCheck

Sports

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
End Of Section
  • More News

Tony Romo Notices Star On Cowboys Helmet For First Time

DALLAS—Entering his 11th season with the franchise, Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo reportedly noticed the star on the Cowboys helmet for the first time Tuesday, excitedly pointing out the logo to his teammates and coaches. “Whoa, look at that, it’s a star like the kind they have in the sky,” said Romo, who acknowledged that he couldn’t see the star on his helmet while wearing the protective equipment. “Wait a second, is there one on the other side? Or is that the same star and it just jumps back and forth? There’s so much stuff you don’t ever see unless you look really close. There’s all these letter things on the back of our jerseys, and mine has an upside-down six.” Romo also told reporters that the star appeared similar to “the one in the middle of the field” that he had found last week.

More from this section

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close