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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Tony Romo Practicing For First Time Since Surgery To Remove Ovarian Cyst

OXNARD, CA—According to sources inside the Dallas Cowboys training staff, quarterback Tony Romo returned to the practice field Thursday for the first time since undergoing surgery to remove a painful ovarian cyst. “Tony appears to have responded well to the procedure, and given the rate at which his ovarian cyst was growing, I'm glad we got in there when we did,” said Dr. Peter Baskin, who removed the four inch fluid-filled sac after the signal-caller reported constant abdominal discomfort during voluntary OTA’s. “If we had waited any longer, it very well could have spread to his uterus. Hopefully Tony can still have children.” Baskin told reporters that there will most likely be some scarring along the fallopian tubes, but Romo’s range of motion should remained unaffected.

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