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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Tony Stewart Calls Upcoming Allstate 400 'A Great Opportunity To Kill Someone'

INDIANAPOLIS—Just days after accepting full responsibility for a wreck that knocked Clint Boyer and Carl Edwards out of the Pocono 500, Tony Stewart said he had put the incident behind him and was focusing his energies on the possible fatal crashes he could cause in the upcoming Allstate 400 at the Brickyard. "Indy is a great track with a lot of history, and I'd love to add to that history by running someone's car full-speed into the wall in the short-chutes after Turns 1 and 3, or spinning them down pit lane, or even bumping them into the infield, and killing them," Stewart told reporters shortly after arriving at Indianapolis Motor Speedway. "I'd also love to win, if possible, but I have to run my own race." NASCAR's Competition Committee has already issued a warning to Stewart advising him to "refrain from making incendiary comments" and to "save that sort of thing for the racetrack."

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