Tony Stewart Gets Into Fight With Car

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Vol 45 Issue 11

Area Man Down To Final Week Of Heyday

CHICAGO—"I'm having a blast," said Brian Konig, unaware that work-related stress and financial responsibility will soon put a tragic end to his personal apex.

Christian Salt Introduced

After reportedly tiring of hearing chefs on television recommend kosher salt, a retired barber has introduced Blessed Christians Salt, which is sea salt blessed by an Episcopal priest. What to you think?
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Tony Stewart Gets Into Fight With Car

ATLANTA—Although Tony Stewart and his Old Spice Chevrolet rallied from two laps down to finish a respectable eighth in Sunday's Kobalt Tools 500, Stewart had to be retrained from assaulting his number 14 Impala immediately after the race. "You understeering tire-eating hunk of junk," Stewart said to the car, his knuckles bleeding from the blows he managed to land on his car's fenders and roof before his pit crew intervened. "I ought to have put you into the wall myself, so help me God. You had best shape up before the Food City 500 or so help me God I won't be responsible for what I do to you." Stewart later issued an apology to the car, saying his remarks were made in anger and that he looked forward to their continued partnership.

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