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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.
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Top 5 Best-Selling Books — Week Of April 16, 2013

This week's 5 best-selling books as compiled by The Onion Book Review:

  1. Kurt Vonnegut: The Shopping Lists Kurt Vonnegut (HarperCollins, $21.95) Devotees of the late writer will love this latest collection of shopping lists he took with him to the grocery store in case he forgot something.
  2. I Bet The Publishing Company $1,000,000 They Wouldn’t Publish This Martin Van Hulken (Penguin, $19.99) And now the author really regrets doing that.
  3. Fur Burger: The Sexy Side of Sesame Street Frank Oz (Simon & Schuster, $24.99) Muppet veteran Oz sheds light on the behind-the-scenes sexual underworld of the Children’s Television Workshop.
  4. Hey, Get Off Of There! Ben Falser (Random House, $23.99) A list of stuff you shouldn’t be standing on.
  5. The Quran (Avery, $20.50) The audiobook version of the Islamic holy book continues to sell briskly. Narrated by Gilbert Gottfried.

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