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Top 5 Best-Selling Books — Week Of January 23, 2013

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Top 5 Best-Selling Books — Week Of January 23, 2013

This week's 5 best-selling books as compiled by The Onion Book Review:

  1. Shadow’s Watch Louis Murphy (Penguin, $29.95) The sequel to Winter’s Fall. Or is it the sequel to Lion’s Game, or maybe Night’s Apprentice? There’s a wizard.
  2. The Catcher In The Rye J.D. Salinger (Back Bay Books, $11.79) This 2013 reissue of the classic novel includes three additional chapters blasting phonies.
  3. The President Of Vice: The Autobiography Of Joe Biden The Onion (Amazon, $2.99) In this tell-all autobiography presented by The Onion, Vice President “Diamond” Joe Biden divulges some of his sweetest guitar riffs, bustiest lays, wildest benders, and sexiest appropriations bills, while also offering up some tricks that will serve you well in the sack.
  4. The Woman With A Hint Of Sexuality Melody Choice (Vintage, $25.49) The erotic tale of a 34-year-old woman who discovers sex isn’t so bad every now and then.
  5. The Kite: Trouble In Bangkok Khaled Hosseini (Riverhead, $15.99) In the first spinoff novel for the wildly popular The Kite character from 2003’s The Kite Runner, a business trip to Thailand takes an exciting turn when The Kite overhears thieves planning a big motorcycle heist.

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