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Top 5 Best-Selling Books — Week Of July 23, 2013

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Top 5 Best-Selling Books — Week Of July 23, 2013

This week's 5 best-selling books as compiled by The Onion Book Review:

  1. Hopscotch David Herowitz (Manning, $18.99) A book with a fun-sounding title, but the cover’s dark colors and bold fonts make it clear that it’s actually a thriller.
  2. The Sun: An Autobiography The Sun (Knopf, $24.99) The exothermic ball of gas at the center of our solar system takes the reader through its 4.57-billion-year life, from its humble start in the fashion journalism industry to becoming the life-giving celestial body that it is today.
  3. The Woman Who Had Surprising Things Happen To Her In Regular Intervals Janet Bergan (Noir Books, $12.99) A story of a woman who had exciting, increasingly tense events happen to her in chapter-length installments.
  4. Building Bridges Chris Rogers (McGraw-Hill, $40.00) A guide for building suspension bridges. Sorry if you thought the bridges were going to be metaphors.
  5. How To Sit Comfortably John ‘Gangles’ Carling (Bantam Books, $14.99) 101 sitting strategies for men with really long, dangly legs.

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