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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Top 5 Best-Selling Books — Week Of March 25, 2013

This week's 5 best-selling books as compiled by The Onion Book Review:

  1. Guns, Germs Jared Diamond (Simon & Schuster, $22.95) In this abridged version of his bestseller, Diamond takes out all the parts about steel.
  2. 11/22/83 Stephen King (Scribner, $11.99) A man travels back in time to the 20th anniversary of the Kennedy assassination and tries to avoid coworkers who might ask if he remembers where he was when he heard the president was shot.
  3. Give A Jew A Handgun Moshe Goldman (Putnam, $27.95) Eighth entry in the alphabetical Give A Jew thriller series.
  4. JanSport Angela Gonzalez (Penguin, $14.99) In this novelization of the popular backpack brand, a naive young backpack is pushed to the limits of its storage capacity, having to carry a load it never imagined it could.
  5. Success Before 30 Allie Shier (Chronicle Books, $28.95) Yep, the same Allie Shier from high school. God. Of course she has a book now, too. She’s just so awful.

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