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Top 5 Best-Selling Books — Week Of March 6, 2013

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Top 5 Best-Selling Books — Week Of March 6, 2013

This week's 5 best-selling books as compiled by The Onion Book Review:

  1. Just A Couple More Things About Kevin Lionel Shriver (Harper Perennial, $13.99) The author just remembered a few more things regarding Kevin, but bear with her, it won’t take too long.
  2. Touched By My Uncle Cleo Andrews (Simon & Schuster, $7.99) An uncle connects with his niece on his deathbed. What? Incest? Why do people always think this book is about incest?
  3. What To Inspect When You’re Inspecting Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel (Workman, $14.95) Advice for detectives about to embark on their first case.
  4. Dinner Party: Threat Level Seven Delta Tango Tom Clancy (Putnam, $27.95) A group of friends gather for a meal on the eve of China’s invasion of Taiwan.
  5. Scared Trees? Orndell Smirth (Oxford, $17.35) Are trees scared? Tree expert Dr. Orndell Smirth asks that question over and over again in a variety of ways.

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