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Weird, Area Woman Wasn't Harassed Today

Bewildered paralegal Caitlin Levy says that after returning home from work today, it occurred to her that, oddly, at no point during her day was she harassed, leered at, or made to feel humiliated or physically threatened.

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:
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Top 5 Best-Selling Books — Week Of March 6, 2013

This week's 5 best-selling books as compiled by The Onion Book Review:

  1. Just A Couple More Things About Kevin Lionel Shriver (Harper Perennial, $13.99) The author just remembered a few more things regarding Kevin, but bear with her, it won’t take too long.
  2. Touched By My Uncle Cleo Andrews (Simon & Schuster, $7.99) An uncle connects with his niece on his deathbed. What? Incest? Why do people always think this book is about incest?
  3. What To Inspect When You’re Inspecting Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel (Workman, $14.95) Advice for detectives about to embark on their first case.
  4. Dinner Party: Threat Level Seven Delta Tango Tom Clancy (Putnam, $27.95) A group of friends gather for a meal on the eve of China’s invasion of Taiwan.
  5. Scared Trees? Orndell Smirth (Oxford, $17.35) Are trees scared? Tree expert Dr. Orndell Smirth asks that question over and over again in a variety of ways.

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