Top 5 Best-Selling Books — Week Of November 26, 2012

In This Section

Vol 48 Issue 48

Congress Arrested On Manslaughter Charges

WASHINGTON—In a stunning development that has left every federal institution reeling, the U.S. government’s legislative branch was arrested this afternoon on 23.3 million separate charges of manslaughter, sources confirmed. Citing numerous let...

Congress Arrested On Manslaughter Charges

In a stunning development that has left every federal institution reeling, the U.S. government’s legislative branch was arrested this afternoon on 23.3 million separate charges of manslaughter, sources confirmed.

Reports Of Movie Being Good Reach Area Man

CHICAGO—Local resident Daniel Paxson has reportedly heard dozens of accounts from numerous friendly sources in the past two weeks confirming that the new James Bond film is pretty good.

Nick Moyer

In a private ceremony Thursday night, members of Kappa Delta Psi honored the memory of their recently deceased fraternity brother Nick Moyer by doing what he loved best: drinking a lot of Busch and showing their dicks to one another.

U.N. Votes To Recognize Palestine

Over the strong opposition of the United States and Israel, the U.N. General Assembly voted 138 to 9 to grant the West Bank and Gaza Strip status as a “non-member observer state,” moving one step closer to recognizing Palestinian sovereignty. What do you think?
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Pop Culture

Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Healthy Eating

Top 5 Best-Selling Books — Week Of November 26, 2012

This week's 5 best-selling books as compiled by The Onion Book Review:

  1. Go, Fucking Dog, Go: An I Can Read It All By My Goddamn Self Book P.D. Eastman (Random House, $11.99) The classic children’s tale is now punctuated with profanity for parents who like that sort of thing.
  2. The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge The Onion (Little, Brown, $29.99) Containing more than 500 tons of information, this definitive encyclopedia of all worldly facts in existence is the most essential and authoritative book ever written in the history of human civilization.
  3. 2012 Zoning And Subdivision Regulations For Westport, Connecticut Westport City Council (City of Westport, $35.99) This hot new volume of residential, commercial, and industrial construction and use laws blows the 2011 edition right out of the water.
  4. Delilah’s Last Dance Madeline Thompson (Random House, $21.99) In case you can’t figure it out, Delilah has cancer.
  5. The Walking Dead And Zombies Robert Kirkman (Image Comics, $24.99) This zombie-zombie mashup asks what would happen if the living dead encountered even more zombies.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More