adBlockCheck

Entertainment

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 31, 2017

Aries: They say there’s nothing quite like the bond between a mother and her child, but then they have yet to see your experimental new adhesive compound. Taurus: The stars, in their infinite wisdom, recommend that you check yourself this week, as not doing so might lead you to wreck yourself in the future.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.
End Of Section
  • More News

Top 5 Best-Selling Books — Week Of September 2, 2013

This week's 5 best-selling books as compiled by The Onion Book Review:

  1. Portrait Of The Artist As A Young Man In An Awkward Phase As A Mod Wearing A Turtleneck James Joyce (Little Brown, $14.99) The author embraces a period of life most people pretend never happened.
  2. 7 Habits of Highly Reflective People Roy Fleet (Berkley Books, $11.99) A self-help book showcasing the motivated and goal-oriented behavior of the shiny metallic humanoids that walk among us.
  3. Five Pounds of Sudoku Will Shortz (St. Martin’s Griffin, $12.95) Featuring 80 ounces of difficult-level puzzles, The New York Times puzzle editor presents his heaviest collection of Sudoku puzzles yet.
  4. TV Guide’s Golden Years TV Guide Editors (Crown, $14.99) A collection of the best synopses from the ’60s and ’70s, including classics such as this from March 16, 1971: “9:30 p.m. – All In The Family – Archie is worried about his job.”
  5. About A Buoy Nick Hornby (Simon & Schuster, $12.99) This coming-of-waves story follows an introverted buoy living in the English Channel.
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings