adBlockCheck

Recent News

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
End Of Section
  • More News

Top 5 Best-Selling Books — Week Of September 24, 2013

This week's 5 best-selling books as compiled by The Onion Book Review:

  1. Hands Of Salvation Dean Koontz (Bantam, $21.95) Weston McKay is blessed with an extraordinary power and curse: His right hand can cure any sick person through touch alone, but then his left hand automatically slaps the person’s face really hard.
  2. Stairway To Heaven: The Life And Loves Of George Harrison Mitch Furback (Simon & Schuster, $23.99) A book whose author knows what you’re about to say, and he doesn’t care. The title works, damn it.
  3. Complacent George H. A. Rey (HMH Books for Young Readers, $13.98) George sees a blue kite float by and doesn’t really care where it came from.
  4. Law Man In Some Hot Water John Grisham (Doubleday, $23.99) A law man catches his boss doing something unethical, and now he has to run around so bad people don’t catch and hurt him.
  5. Weirdo Creep To Hero Melvin Atwood (Penguin, $20.99) A biography about Nelson Mandela and his journey from a weirdo creep boy to a hero adult.
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close