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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Top Of Mt. Everest Pulling Away Majority Of Hollywood Films With Generous Tax Credit Program

KHUMBU, NEPAL—On the strength of the location’s generous tax credits, cash rebates on production costs, and fee-free onsite filming, more than half of major Hollywood motion pictures are now being shot at the summit of Mount Everest, the weekly trade magazine Variety reported Friday. “Originally we’d planned to shoot our new Josh Duhamel rom-com in Toronto, but when we considered the financial package offered by [Everest’s] Advanced Base Camp, we realized we could film the whole thing there at 60 percent of the cost. Assuming the cast and crew survive the ascent up the Khumbu Icefall, how do you say no to that kind of deal?” said Sony Pictures executive Evan Green, who is currently producing a Joel Schumacher–directed courtroom drama, a superhero franchise sequel, a raunchy teen sex romp, and a film adaptation of the Broadway musical Nice Work If You Can Get It that are all slated to be filmed at the Hillary Step, a sheer four-story rock wall located 28,750 feet above sea level. “Sometimes a little script tinkering is needed to work in the fact that everyone’s wearing oxygen tanks and 50 pounds of climbing gear, but given the incredible savings it’s nothing you can’t smooth out in post.” Green added that the company hopes to begin shooting an Edwardian-era period drama at Camp IV on the southeast ridge as soon as the actors’ swollen limbs reduce to normal size and they stop coughing up blood.

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