WESTWOOD, CA—In a deft and ruthless display of the utmost cunning, local woman Anne Kaminski added the phrase ‘No gifts, please’ to the bottom of her birthday party invitation, sources confirmed Friday.
TORONTO—Following a flurry of offseason activity by his hometown Blue Jays, Toronto Star baseball columnist Richard Griffin has written his yearly mid-March article asserting that the Jays have a chance to contend in the AL East. "The acquisitions of Scott Rolen and David Eckstein just might get the Blue Jays over the hump and turn them from also-rans to world champions," wrote Griffin in an excerpt that was lifted directly from his 2007 article but with the names Frank Thomas and John Thomson substituted out, which itself was copied from a 2006 article about A.J. Burnett and B.J. Ryan."Though the Jays will be facing defending champion Red Sox and the $200 million New York Yankees a combined 37 times this season, and the Rays might be the most improved team in baseball, the Blue Jays are also very good."The Star has yet to comment on whether or not a separate Griffin article predicting the Blue Jays to finish fourth was a misprint.