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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Toronto Columnist Writes Annual 'Blue Jays Have A Chance' Article

TORONTO—Following a flurry of offseason activity by his hometown Blue Jays, Toronto Star baseball columnist Richard Griffin has written his yearly mid-March article asserting that the Jays have a chance to contend in the AL East. "The acquisitions of Scott Rolen and David Eckstein just might get the Blue Jays over the hump and turn them from also-rans to world champions," wrote Griffin in an excerpt that was lifted directly from his 2007 article but with the names Frank Thomas and John Thomson substituted out, which itself was copied from a 2006 article about A.J. Burnett and B.J. Ryan."Though the Jays will be facing defending champion Red Sox and the $200 million New York Yankees a combined 37 times this season, and the Rays might be the most improved team in baseball, the Blue Jays are also very good."The Star has yet to comment on whether or not a separate Griffin article predicting the Blue Jays to finish fourth was a misprint.

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