Totally Irresponsible Parents Remember To Drop Son Off At Football

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Vol 49 Issue 47

FCC May Allow Cell Phone Calls On Flights

The Federal Communications Commission is considering lifting the ban on cell phone calls on flights when the plane is above 10,000 feet, though calls would still be disallowed during takeoff and landing.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Totally Irresponsible Parents Remember To Drop Son Off At Football

CRESTON, IA—Apparently not caring about the 10-year-old’s health or safety at all, local parents Laura and David Turner heedlessly remembered again to drop off their son Jacob at football practice, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Have fun, Jake,” said the negligent father, displaying the same reckless disregard for Jacob’s welfare as with the last 12 times he remembered to bring the child to football practice. “Listen to the coach and just try to do your best out there.” At press time, Jacob had reportedly been stuck there for three whole hours.

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