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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Touchdown Disallowed After Ref Drops Ball Handed To Him By Player

KANSAS CITY, MO—Chargers' tight end Antonio Gates' 3-yard touchdown reception against the Chiefs Monday was ruled incomplete after referee Doug Rosenbaum bobbled and dropped the ball handed to him by Gates. "The rule in question states, 'A referee must maintain possession through the entirety of the post-touchdown player-to-referee-exchange, and make a clear officiating move," NFL vice president of officiating Carl Johnson said at a press conference Tuesday. "Not only must the official signal a touchdown, receive the game ball, hold it, and twirl it around a little in his hands, but he must also take it home with him and keep it in his possession for at least three days. That is the only way a touchdown is officially recorded in the NFL." Johnson insisted the rules of the league must be upheld, because otherwise fans might actually be happy.

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