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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Tour De France Cyclists Make It Past Dreaded Underwater Stage

FRANCE—Luxembourger Frank Schleck, a rider with the CSC team, emerged from the 182-kilometer underwater tunnel stage Monday triumphantly clad in a soaked yellow jersey after braving electric seaweed, underwater volcanoes, cyclist-trapping bubble fountains, carnivorous plants, man-eating fish, and electric eels. "These stages are always a pain," said a visually exhausted Schleck, who went on to complain about the stage's lack of turbo zones and power-ups. "I don't see why we have to go underwater instead of riding through the Pyrenees... It was an aerobic challenge to hold our breath for that long. By the end of it, I only had one life left." The International Cycling Union says next year's Tour will skip the underwater stage as well as the lava stage, ice stage, and the stage where the riders are shrunk to the size of ants and ride the equivalent of 120 miles through a candy store.

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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

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